1800 March 29

The outcome of today was much different than what I expected…

At last, me and Sylvia would rid the world of Constance once and for all. As she took a bite of the foxglove, I smiled with glee. At last, Credence was finally avenged! But what I did not expect was for Constance to attempt to make amends. All I ever wanted was for her to take responsibility for hurting my brother. But it was too late…

Although Sylvia is a deeply unstable and a somewhat psychotic woman, I still love her. I thought my revenge was more important than her, but now I see that she is the only thing in my life that I truly ever valued. I tried to convince her not to kill her mother, so she would not have to live with the shame of taking a life, but Sylvia was still determined as ever. In my final effort to stop Sylvia, I told her to run off with Daniel, and that I would take the responsibility for Constance’s death.

My brother is dead. I killed my brother’s lover. My “lover” never even loved me. She chose a humble stable boy over me. There is nothing in life that brings me pleasure. Not even food, wine, or those vapid, meaningless women. Life is not worth living anymore.